Where to Begin

On The Road to a Place Called Freedom
Practical ways to begin the process of healing from abuse.

by Sallie Culbreth

Perhaps you’ve reached the crossroads, the place where the pain of the past is ready to meet freedom and a better life. As you begin the pursuit of peace, take advantage of opportunities you can create that will open the doors to health and balance.

Seek help.
It is wise to seek out experienced help to walk with you on this journey. You might want to consider finding a pastor or other clergy member to help you with your spiritual concerns, or a licensed counselor to help you address your abuse and struggles. Knowing that you need help is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of wisdom and strength.

Read.
There are excellent books that can help you address the issues of abuse. Some you might consider are:

• The Uncaged Project by Sallie Culbreth – Published by Committed to Freedom
• No Longer Alone by Sallie Culbreth – Published by NavPress
• On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Mandt Langberg, Ph.D. – Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL (1999)
• On the Threshold of Hope Study Guide Compiled by Sallie Culbreth -Published by Committed to Freedom
•  A Safe Place (specifically written for teens who have been sexually abused) by Jan Morrison -  Shaw Publishers, Wheaton, IL (1990)
•  Also view our Resources page for a more extensive book list.

Keep a journal.
Write what you feel and think in a journal or notebook. If you don’t want to write, then draw in a sketch journal to capture your thoughts and feelings, or collage in your journal book. Do this several times a week, or even daily if you need to. It will help you to move those noisy internal voices and pressures to outside of yourself where you can see them and think more clearly.

Pray and meditate.
Spend time each day quieting your body, mind, and spirit. Even if you have just a few minutes a day, you can start now. Begin to spiritually engage in this process – even if you feel isolated and distant from God. Start to practice honest communication with God. You can pray out loud, silently, or even write out your prayers. God wants to be in a relationship with you. If you’re angry with God, he already knows. God is not afraid of your anger, your doubts, your fears, or your questions. He loves you and wants you to find true healing.

Find a community.
Community is where people who have similar interests and beliefs gather to enrich and nurture each other. Community can be a place of worship, a reading group, a soccer team, a family, a Saturday morning coffee group, or a woodworking class, to name a few. Faith communities are often sources of great comfort where you can find peace, growth for your spirit, and wisdom from spiritually mature people. If it is a healing experience for you, then seek a community of open and respectful people who will help you to grow. If you struggle to participate in a faith community, make an effort to connect with some form of enriching relationships involving similar beliefs and values as yours.

Sacred Reading.
Some people find great comfort from the Bible, some prefer other kinds of sacred writings. Either way, find inspirational books to help cultivate your spirit. If you choose the Bible (we suggest the New International Version – NIV), you might start with the book of John in the New Testament, followed by the book of 1st John (also in the New Testament). Both of these may be a good place for you to begin. The Psalms in the Hebrew Bible also contain soothing, comforting, and strengthening words that many love to dwell on. While you are waiting and seeking, study the life of Christ and see what you have in common with the one the Bible calls “Immanuel” – God with us. The more you know about the life and teachings of Christ, the more you will be able to recognize your true worth, personal empowerment, and spiritual peace. Sacred texts facilitate the process of exchanging the lies for the truth.

Cherish yourself.
Be kind to yourself. Go for a walk, swim, skate, bike, or dance. Take a hot bath, get a massage, or change your style. Eat healthy food with lots of vegetables and fruit. Drink water in abundance. Occasionally, treat yourself to dessert. Take a nap or sit in the sunshine. Abuse teaches you that you have no worth. That lie can be countered by treating yourself with respect and value.

Consider attending a Committed to Freedom Beyond Abuse Retreat.
When you attend a retreat, you will be given spiritual tools, one at a time. You will be shown how to use those tools. When you return home, you will not be “magically fixed,” but you will be uniquely empowered to regain ownership of your life and your choices. The goal is to help you move beyond the abuse.